


Clever Little Phrase

by Yana of the Arcana (sad_goomy)



Series: Break and Repair [1]
Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Break Up, F/M, Language Barrier, Light Angst, Sort Of, but like, spoilers for Julian's route Book 7, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 10:39:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14495127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sad_goomy/pseuds/Yana%20of%20the%20Arcana
Summary: Ending things is hard enough without a language barrier.((Book VII, Chapter III))





	Clever Little Phrase

 

This is the point when Julian expects she might slap him. Maybe she'll just go ahead and deck him, give him a hearty uppercut to the jaw. Or perhaps she'll keep it to a verbal assault, cursing him and arguing and kicking the whole way through. 

But she only looks at him with a furrow of her brows, and he has to look away before he caves in and takes everything back. 

"Breaking up?" Yana repeats, searching his face for some hidden meaning she can't grasp. 

He nods, not seeing the confusion building in her eyes as he looks to the water. "Not that it's really a breakup." She repeats that word, too, but silently, letting it form in her mouth and trying to chew through the syllables. "We never – we never had anything to start with. Just a few nights, stolen from time." 

"What are you talking about?" She can see him slipping into his theatrics, letting himself put on a show rather than face her, but she's too hurt and too disoriented to allow him. He blinks when she turns, grabbing his shoulders and rattling him to the point that he's sure she's decided to throw him off the dock. "I understand that you're ending this, and I think I know but – but  _what_ are we breaking?" 

It's at this moment that Julian remembers this isn't her first language. She's told him several times before, but in the middle of a philosophical or self-loathing monologue, and he'd assumed it was mostly to get him to shut up (which is true enough). However, looking into her eyes and seeing the face she always keeps so guarded break into desperation and bewilderment and achingly pure hope that maybe she's misunderstood, Julian isn't sure he can tell her. 

Her fists bundle tighter into his coat before she releases him, feeling her strength leave her as she sits back on the dock. Her eyes bore into his, daring him to look away or to remain silent for much longer. 

"We're..." Julian swallows the lump in his throat. "We're breaking this off. It's another way to say that this is..." 

"You're breaking my heart." 

She's always been blunt, but this is different from her deadpan expressions or her coquettish commands. This is something steeped in truth and hurt and a past that he still doesn't know. 

Yana lets out a one-note laugh that lacks any mirth, and her gaze goes to the ocean. She pulls a knee to her chest, resting her chin on it, as the other leg dangles off the dock. "I get it, now," she mumbles, something bitter contorting her face into an expression that makes him ache. She looks over at him, and the usual spark in her eyes is replaced with a fire that burns him from the inside out. "That's a clever little phrase. 'Breakup,' because you want to break someone's heart up into pieces." 

"That's not..." Julian bites his lip, hesitant when her glare doesn't subside. But he's at a loss for words as she throws yet another curveball, yet another surprise at him. "It mostly refers to breaking up a pair." 

Her brows knit together, and he wishes the smirk she wears now is one of the playful ones she'd always use to tease him, or the one she'd give him before their lips meet. This one is decidedly more melancholic, and a wave of regret threatens to drown him. 

"You're a doctor. Don't you know that there's a pair of atriums that could be broken up?" 

 _And ventricles._  He bites his tongue, letting the moment hang in the air as they look to the ocean, the dark waves meeting the shore. In the back of his mind, Julian is sure this would be hilarious in any other circumstances. Surely, if some poor shmuck was retelling this to the barkeep at the Rowdy Raven and he overheard, he wouldn't hesitate to snicker and make a clever quip. 

It feels like less of a joke when he's the punchline. 

"You didn't answer my question yet." Her voice is so small and weak and  _not Yana_  that he thinks he might have imagined it. Then she turns with a broken smile that doesn't reach her eyes, and he wishes he'd imagined it, that he's imagining all of this. "I got us side-tracked, but you didn't answer my question." 

He knows it won't work, but still he tries to stall for time all the same, feeling the heat that she carries with her crawling up his neck and across his cheeks for the millionth time. "I forgot what you asked." 

"What do I mean to you?" 

Suddenly, explaining what 'breaking up' means is nothing compared to the onslaught of thoughts and memories and horrible  _wants_  that he has. 

 

* * *

 

 

She doesn't end up hitting him, in the end. She remains quiet on the walk back, and she only speaks after he kisses her cheeks and lingers, whispering an apology for not initially understanding and then a goodbye. 

He wishes she had just hit him instead. 

 

It would have hurt less. 

 


End file.
